Light
by myownreality
Summary: And in that moment, with that phrase, Draco’s heart broke. He just wanted to see her smile.


Disclaimer: all HP related chracters belong to JKR. the situation, thoughts, and dialogue belong to SLR.

Light

The fire in the dark, dank dungeon crackled menacingly, casting eerie shadows on the cold, stone walls. Two figures lounged on the acid-green sofa beside the fireplace. Draco was laying with his head in her lap; Pansy was stroking his hair absentmindedly.

"Draco?" she said, prodding him out of his stupor.

"Hm?" was the lazy response she received from the boy reclining in her lap.

"When did we become liars?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"We've always been liars. At least, as far back as I can remember," he mumbled, a slight sarcastic edge to his voice, one she knew all too well, and picked up on immediately. But this time she didn't let it bother her. She knew he didn't understand.

"But not to each other. We've never lied to each other before," came her soft-spoken reply. She immediately felt him tense up, and suddenly the sarcasm was gone.

"What do you mean? Of course we've never lied to each other. I don't know what you mean by before," he said, passionately, for someone who was just on the verge of sleep.

"We promised each other we'd never grow up. We promised. But it was a lie. We grew up," she uttered.

"Oh," he breathed a sigh of relief. Not that this wasn't important. Because evidently she thought it was. He had just been worried that it was something more serious. "Pansy," he began, "we aren't liars because we grew up. We couldn't _not_ grow up. It's inevitable. It doesn't mean we lied. We tried not to grow up. Gods, Pansy, you know we tried."

"Yes. I know we tried. We did everything. But we still didn't keep our promise. That's the point. We lied. And it hurts so much. We made that promise for a reason. I'm not ready for this. I can't be grown up yet. I just don't know how. It's too horrid. And I know we aren't great people. Hell, we aren't even _good_ people. But I don't want what our parents have. I can't live with that kind of hatred. And I know eventually we will have to, it's part of who we are. But not yet. Not now," she paused and took a shuddery breath, "I'm so scared."

And in that moment, with that phrase, Draco's heart broke. It broke into a billion tiny little pieces, unable to be put back together. It broke for Pansy and all the pain she was in, for everything he wanted to protect her from, but knew he couldn't. He would have to protect her from himself. It was a part of him. But he couldn't let her go. But he didn't want that for her. She was strong enough, gods she was strong enough, but it hurt her. And he never wanted her to feel pain. It broke for the war. For the lives that had been and would be lost. For the difference in good and evil. For light. For the darkness that had overtaken them. For who he was becoming. For lost childhood. Tainted innocence. For a million different, unexplainable reasons. For hate. For love. And it was in that moment that he realized he loved her. He would do anything for her. Go to the ends of the earth to please her. He would travel to the moon to capture a star if it would only make her pain go away. He just wanted to see her smile.

"Pansy, you don't know how much I want to protect you from all of this. This war is going to be big. This is it. And I don't want this either. We both know we'll never be good, but I don't want this hatred either. But we can't escape. We're part of this, now, and there is no way out. I wish I could have sheltered you from all of this pain, Pansy. I should have made you get out while you had the chance. But now we're in too deep. And I wish I could tell you everything was going to be alright. But we both know I can't do that. Because we don't lie to each other. And I don't know for sure that everything is going to be alright. It will be dark, dangerous, immense. That I know. But I also know that I love you. And that love _can_ get us through this. If we just hold on to that. If that is what we fight for. I believe we can make it."

"There really is no way out, is there?" she pleaded. He shook his head. "Then let's fight for us. We won't fight for right or wrong, good or evil. We will fight for love. For us. Our future. If what you're saying is true, and I believe every word of it because I know you wouldn't lie to me, then maybe, just maybe, this love can save us. Sure, we won't be outstanding people. But we don't have to be a part of the enmity. I'm beginning to think that this is the only way I can make it through this thing. I need to be fighting for us, for our future, for you. I don't want to be blinded by the light, Draco, but I need to be able to see it I don't want to be shrouded by darkness. I need a little bit of light. I need you. I love you."

By this time, tears were rolling down her cheeks, like a dam had broken somewhere deep within her, like she'd been holding in those tears for her whole life, and it occurred to him that she probably had. Being a Slytherin came with certain standards, certain rules. They didn't show emotion. The didn't break or hurt or cry. But he could tell that concealing these things was killing her. And he didn't want that anymore. They weren't going to be Slytherins. They weren't going to be evil. They weren't going to be Malfoys or Parkinsons. They were just going to be people. People fighting for what they believed in. Because right now, all they had to believe in was each other and the love they shared.

"All right. We'll do it. For us. To hell with them all. All we really need is us anyway. I can do that. I can fight for you. Even if it is just for the simple fact that you will be beside me when the fighting is over. You will be there to come back to. We don't have to let anyone tell us what to do or who to be. After all, everyone needs a little bit of light to see by." And that is what they were. She was his light, and he was hers. And in the end, all they really did need was each other.

A/N: so...my first D/P...not so sure about it...but i like _them_ so i thought i'd try. kinda iffy...not sure if i can really capture them or not...oh well...practice makes perfect...sometimes...my inspiration comes form **Liebling**. totally amazing. read her fics. she's great. ah. my unfulfilled ambibtion is to be as good as her. yup. well...that's all. until next time.


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